In a sudden i sounded spiritual? Ya.....Something happened to me, someone i hold dear to my heart said such really deep words. He felt so down of failing to achieve advancing his next career.
I was sending a text to meet up before going back to my hometown. And he told me about the failure. He started to preach of all the Sins he had made, and thus of those doing may have affect his failure livelihood in career, and to stop seeing each other at the moment.
How do i feel about it?
I felt sorry for his failure. I didn't say much to him, cause my thoughts, my words, my beliefs, as i felt it has no benefits for him. However, its really hurtful hearing that. The Sins, intimacy in favor of lust we both had made has affecting his livelihood. He didn't 100% blame me thou & he wants me to understand his choice, but suddenly you started to act on your beliefs, religions, you pushed the person away in your life? I know i don't have a religions, but i have beliefs & values in life. Its really prejudice differentiating each other regardless on your religions, beliefs.
How i really, really feel?
Loneliness and uncertainty.Unsettling news that helps me to distance myself from a destructive relationship. Painfully honest communication that needs to take place. Not letting myself be dragged by my emotions into a negative situation. A trust or confidence betrayed in an attempt to help someone in need. The revelation of a painful truth.
I actually developed stronger feelings for him again after we parted ways 2 years ago. Its an On & Off relation. So i guess this is it, he finally made a choice. I don't know whether its a temporary parted away or permanent.
My choice?
Its naive of me saying, if one day he's back, should i give it another try? Deep down i wanted to, perhaps of the strong feelings i have for him but, what do i get from it? I hope if one day that happens I am Strong enough & firmed with my Values whether to accept him back or not in my life.
For one second back there, my thinking is
