December wedding season 2015

 5 Dec 2015 - At our cousin's wedding Diyana Yusuf & Adam Robertson. Wefie cousin from Dad side #1stcousindadside

 Familiar faces at wedding. #cousinsfrommomdadsideoffamily

 6 Dec 2015 - At my bro's work colleague daughter's wedding. Our foster sister Aya Hji Hamid. 

Loving out outfit for the night. Casual blazer with maxi skirt.

Walking....

Being at a familiar places, suddenly triggers most memories. I'm having that now. Walking to a familiar room and all the memory starts to play clearly. I thought by doing what i did last week, might get you out of my system, but it didn't work. At first it did, somehow i bluntly said it'll work for the sake of, i don't like uncertain things.

Hopefully i'm tough enough to withdraw myself caught in a situation whenever it all comes to you.

When you found out...

 I am dumbfounded!! But i insisted to carry on. Oh well, just so you know i'm not 5L|_|T. I'm a tourist, so are you...We're f**king each other as a tourist.

And then i was all like....

I'm

 Truth be told, what happen last Saturday night was something i never thought to do. All i can say, you're cute(Mr Surfer J.D). Overall its a one night only. Truthfully, i did wanna stay for breakfast but your friend came back, which you both shared & stay together, so i wasn't comfortable. I Apologize for leaving without telling. Whatever your friend said to you, its not what you think, thou i'm not sure what he told you. 

Sums it all up

When you starting back to square one. The feelings seems familiar and you wish its something else. I'm out of words to type here, so i'll just sums all the picture quotes to express what i'm feeling.

 So to my future lover, hope you give something i need which is unfamiliar, so i can count on it for long term.

What is Never yours

Another 2 months more left for another new year. Am i looking forward for new year? Hmmm..excited for soon vacation with the parents & siblings. Spending new year in Singapore. Looking forward to that.

Looking forward in life? Perhaps, maybe...i don't know anymore. I wish i didn't put myself in a situation, which i'm not suppose to be. However, i wanna tell you this Mr Angel Joe.B

Truth be told, i'm letting go of the feelings i had for you which is, its not suppose to be there at the first place.....

Bali, Indonesia Vacation 8-14 September 2015

Sharing some pictures of vacation for 2015. Another list of countries of vacation had done.

Went to Bali with My buddies, My Jokers, My Clowns, My Love Hate Friendship.

i'm still in the mood of Bali. I find myself, i can walk around there just by myself. Usually i feel frighten to walk alone. And by the way, Bali is a nice place to go for Zen mode.

Watersports activities at Tanjung Benoa, Nusa Dua, Bali.

Having Lunch at Gunung Agung Volcano & Drop by at Tegalalang Rice terrace field and Ubud Market.

tea & Coffee drink tester

Arriving at Hotel Neo+ Legian, Kuta.

Uluwatu Temple & Waterbom.

Pandawa Beach doing the Kayak.

Our first day stay at Villa Matahari Ungasan, Jimbaran. Totally loving the lavish view, the breezy chill wind. Definitely coming here again next year same month. 

You be The Fallen, i'll be the Sky

It has been almost a year again....No news from you. Last seen was you liking my facebook status, which i sort of shrugging of The Return....then Away...then Return...then Away again... *sighs* 

From the sound of my life at the moment, it seems pretty much in tact, however deep down as Jason Derulo sings "Want you to want me" 

Everytime when you be The Fallen, i'll be the Sky to Lift by your side.

I hate....

Constantly how i feel & its going to take a long haul

What do i think....

My thoughts - Today a really deep impact towards how i see things. Usually i would question this kind of stuffs; Values, Beliefs, Behaviors and Cultural differences.

In a sudden i sounded spiritual? Ya.....Something happened to me, someone i hold dear to my heart said such really deep words. He felt so down of failing to achieve advancing his next career. 

I was sending a text to meet up before going back to my hometown. And he told me about the failure. He started to preach of all the Sins he had made, and thus of those doing may have affect his failure livelihood in career, and to stop seeing each other at the moment.

How do i feel about it? 
I felt sorry for his failure. I didn't say much to him, cause my thoughts, my words, my beliefs, as i felt it has no benefits for him. However, its really hurtful hearing that. The Sins, intimacy in favor of lust we both had made has affecting his livelihood. He didn't 100% blame me thou & he wants me to understand his choice, but suddenly you started to act on your beliefs, religions, you pushed the person away in your life? I know i don't have a religions, but i have beliefs & values in life. Its really prejudice differentiating each other regardless on your religions, beliefs. 

How i really, really feel?
Loneliness and uncertainty.Unsettling news that helps me to distance myself from a destructive relationship. Painfully honest communication that needs to take place. Not letting myself be dragged by my emotions into a negative situation. A trust or confidence betrayed in an attempt to help someone in need. The revelation of a painful truth.


I actually developed stronger feelings for him again after we parted ways 2 years ago. Its an On & Off relation. So i guess this is it, he finally made a choice. I don't know whether its a temporary parted away or permanent. 

My choice? 
Its naive of me saying, if one day he's back, should i give it another try? Deep down i wanted to, perhaps of the strong feelings i have for him but, what do i get from it? I hope if one day that happens I am Strong enough & firmed with my Values whether to accept him back or not in my life. 

For one second back there, my thinking is  

"You can never be good enough for everyone but don't let them guard down your Values."

Should i....Or

Comtemplate of Giving up on your Wings.

 I'll take a bow. Feelings i have for you still unknown, whether its Infatuation, dreaming....I don't know. 

New year countdown 2015 - DJ Yukie Surisa & Mc Coga - World Club Station Miri, Sarawak

Had my new year countdown 2015 in Miri at World ClubStation Bar. This year making another history getting hype with DJ Yukie Bangkok & Mc Coga