Vacation + Convention in KK Sabah Part 2

Vacation + Convention in KK Sabah Part 2

This is at a break of dawn + had some errands to do. We were wrapping flowers for the convention that later 1pm noon. Its a gift i think....

Flowers wrapping~

In the bathroom~ Hahahaha..sempat lagi tu~

The next early morning went for skinny dipping. I thought the swimming pool was very BIG. Because when i browse to their website, it does kind of big, unfortunately my assumption was wrong. Its a medium size pool.

Early morning accompany my our 2 LiL' Sis for a swim. I was very sleepy still but didn't want to miss a thing to go swimming. It was very colddddddddddddddddddd that morning *shivers*
I love the view from the pool side. Its very catchy. You can see the roadside, the Waterfront from there. Feels like at home~

Just going for skinny dipping for a while. I'd only get to sit the whole morning at the sidepool. Can't stand the coldness~

Sleepy pose~

Sleepy + Exciting + Shivering - That goes to My Bro & I~ *Huhuhuhuh*

Noon 1pm Convention

Group Photo

Outside the entrance. People from Malaysia KL, Indonesia, Sarawak & Brunei.

Front desk entrance before going to the Hall.

Walking down the Red Carpet~

Inside Dewan Putera Sabah. *correct me if i'm wrong*

Patiencely waiting for the event to start.

My Bro & I were sooo Boring + Sleepy, so we did a Cam-Whore pictures session.

And i was totally bored took a picture of the ceiling.

Closing event Group Photo

Thats a wrap!! Be back for Part 3

Vacation + Convention Part 1 in KK Sabah Feb 21st 2009 Part 1

Saturday Feb21st 2009 - Going for a Vacation + Convention in KK, Sabah. Let all the pictures tell the journey we had...



Starting journey from Kuala Belait at 6.00am -


I can't recall what river was this...i think its Limbang/Temburong can't recall anything because i was sleeping thru whole the journey *hahahahaha* + was reluctant to take pictures with the others of the convoy group.


The Group Convoy


Arrival somewhere at KK, Sabah Road Highway still far ahead from the Capital thou. Having a pit stop.

Island??? Don't know what Island is that....


I'm loving this pictures *aarrkkk* My tummy shows a LiL' ahahahaha..






Arrival at Marina Court Condominium

P/S: To HaFeez if you happen to read this blog, thanks for the accomodation, love the condo very much. I really missed to walk at Waterfront + viewing all the KK people Loittering at the pathway.



We're on the 9th Floor + can't bother to know which Block we are, because this condo are label with Block label + we got lost finding which floor/block we were suppose to be in *shrugs*


This is the Master Bedroom and we get to sleep there *thanks Hafeez for the special room*






I didn't get any pictures for the other 2 rooms, i was reluctant to do so. Frankly, i was a LiL' upset due to we arrive late; its almost 5pm we reach KK. *shrugs* Imagine that way back in Kuala Belait, I had to wake up by 4am to get ready because the "Grown-ups" says "Can't Be late youngsters or else you wouldn't get and rezeki kelak nanti" DAMN CRAP!!!


Anyhoo, thats the view to the Kitchen + had dinner.


Cook Chef of the night








Eat up people! Don't starve yourself!! Hahahah..



I didn't have rice even grab a bite at any of this delicious, tasty, yummy. I grab myself a fast food KFC instead.





There you go, getting ready to Bust a Groove. *shaking those arse off!!*


Reflection from the mirror. Still waiting for the others to getting ready.



Group picture before taking off. Oooppzzz...Hafeez is no where to be seen!! hehehehehe...Lambat jugak anak atu bebaju~


This is at Hyatt Hotel. Quite fun thou except didn't like the dance floor + the DJ kinda boring~ The people there kinda boring~~




Here is On Stage B.E.D Waterfront. Thats the Bar, its in the middle. I love this place so much. Love the Bar, the stage, the dance floor everything are so amazing. Its huge like a warehouse. My Bro & I get connected to the music DJ *gosh* I fell in LuRve with the DJ~DJ~ ahahahahahaha....




Quotes: To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.-- Philip Andrew Adams

Why a simple kiss is so telling

Hey hey...*fuuuhhh* Yea..i know as i'm saying "I'M BACCCKKKKKK!!" Well.....i'll upload my Vacation to KK Sabah last February 2009 soon; still editting the pictures. But i got an article to share, very much interesting INDEED. All i can say is most facts are TRUE!

Why a simple kiss is so telling
The kiss is so telling How humans lock lips holds the key to our hearts — and so much more
By Joel Garreau

WASHINGTON - Okay, so: kissing. Here's what we know.

It has major evolutionary advantage. Only the hottest and highest species do it.
Yet among current humans, the future of kissing seems an open question. In our liberated era, have we become so quick to get past the kiss and further into lovemaking that we have devalued the icons, wisdoms and traditions of the ancestors? Have we diminished the meaning and memory of the lingering smooch, the languid summers of interlabial osculation spit-swapping lip-lock?

If so, this is a horrifying situation. It must be stopped. Kissers of the world, unite.
* * *
"A kiss is a blast of information that you are sending out and information that you are receiving," says Helen Fisher, the Rutgers anthropologist who is the author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love."

"Basically it's a mate assessment tool. Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth.

"It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings -- the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature. And when you're kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give."

"At the moment of the kiss, there are hard-wired mechanisms that assess health, reproductive status and genetic compatibility," says Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a professor of evolutionary psychology at the State University of New York at Albany who studies reproductive competition and the biology of interpersonal attraction.

"Therefore, what happens during that first kiss can be a make-or-break proposition."

For example, a woman can sense whether the man's immune system proteins are different from hers, thus increasing the odds of healthy offspring. "Women apparently are quite drawn to men who have differences rather than similarities in their histocompatibility system. They pick it up by smell, and they can pick it up from kissing," says Fisher, who is also science adviser to Chemistry.com, a division of Match.com.

Kissing thus not only conveys serious evolutionary advantage. It can dramatically alter the outcome of Saturday night.

A survey of 1,041 college students led by SUNY Albany's Gallup found that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women reported at least once finding someone attractive only to discover after the first kiss that they were no longer interested.

"I think we have evolved three distinctly different brain systems for mating and reproduction," Fisher says. "One is the sex drive. The second one is romantic love -- that elation, the craving, the obsessive thinking -- and the third is attachment, the sense of calm and security you can feel with a long-term partner.

"So what does kissing do?

You're exchanging testosterone -- that can help to trigger the sex drive. If it's exciting and novel, it's likely to drive up dopamine -- that's associated with romantic love. And if it drives up oxytocin in long-term partners, it's triggering the attachment system. So any one of the three profoundly basic mating systems in the brain could be triggered by kissing."
Okay, but if kissing is all that important, why has kissing lost its iconic status? Why, according to the giant Gallup survey, do 52.9 percent of men and 14.6 percent of women (that high!) feel that they can readily skip the snog and dive right into the sack?

Why, today, can you no longer imagine a movie being made like "Casablanca," which pivots on the question of whether "a kiss is just a kiss"?

Do fundamental things apply, as time goes by?=========================================

Peck a little

The meaning of a kiss has varied over the centuries. Saint Paul told us to "salute another with a holy kiss." That rapidly got out of hand. "By the high middle ages, the 'holy kiss' was given or exchanged in Christian rituals of baptism, ordination, the consecration of bishops, coronations, absolution of penitents and in the marriage ceremony," historian Craig Koslofsky told New Scientist. During the Reformation, Protestants found all this public kissing treacherous.

Nonetheless, public displays of affection in England 400 years ago remained bold even by our standards. Foreign visitors commented on women of the household greeting complete strangers with a kiss on the mouth.

Compare that with today. In some quarters, you can't pay to get kissed. By all accounts, hookers avoid it specifically because it connotes attachment and intimacy.

There is still plenty of ritual kissing. The pope's ring. The cup at Wimbledon. The Blarney Stone. The dice. There are also therapeutic kisses -- on a boo-boo to make it better. Kisses of death -- "The Godfather." And theatrical kissing: the chivalrous hand kiss, the Hollywood air kiss.

But those differ entirely from the legendary kisses of our previous century -- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in the surf and sand in "From Here to Eternity," oh my moon and stars.

Kisses used to be transformative. The Prince kisses Sleeping Beauty! The Princess kisses the frog!

Kisses used to be iconic: illustrious, definitive, for the ages. Rodin's statue. The sailor and the nurse in Times Square at the end of World War II. Lady and the Tramp finishing the spaghetti.

The memorable kisses of this young century, by contrast, are mainly those that are remarkable for examining the edges. Think "Brokeback Mountain." Or Madonna and Britney. Or in "Twilight," dancing with death -- making it with a vampire.

Popular culture increasingly takes, at best, glancing interest in the meaning of a kiss. Harry Potter's first kiss was really meh. Kissing cute is for machines like WALL E and EVE.

Sure, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams won the 2005 Teen Choice Award for best rain-soaked kiss in "The Notebook." But in 2006, in "The Lake House," Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves attempt a homage to the legendary 1946 three-minute kissing sequence between Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Alfred Hitchcock's "Notorious." Their failure is an embarrassment. Its effect is entirely the opposite of the intent. It's like watching woodpeckers.

The biggest advance in film kisses in this generation is the "kiss cam." Any lull in a major sporting event, and the camera scans the crowd, zeroing in on two people who are supposed to be good sports and very publicly display their affection on the JumboTron. Office co-workers? People of the same sex? Hilarity ensues.

"Staples at American sporting events are hot dogs, popcorn, and the 'kiss cam,' " writes "LastRow," a blogger on ArmchairGM.

What does this mean? Has tonsil hockey officially become a sport like any other?

Popular music really knows how to make the meaning of kissing seem quaint beyond superfluous.

"Hip-hop is more likely to be talking about oral sex than talking about kissing," notes Joe Levy, editor in chief of Blender, the music magazine whose readership skews young.

Pop tart Katy Perry's No. 1 Billboard tribute to the kiss last year proclaimed:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry ChapStick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

This is not to say that just because pop lyrics have come a long way from "I Want to Hold Your Hand," kissing is history, Levy says. "Even in a casual hookup culture where people might advertise for assignations on Craigslist, a lot of said assignations start with kissing.

"I'm not sure because we're talking about it less in pop lyrics, it happens less or is less important. What used to start with a kiss still starts with a kiss. You just hear exactly where it went after that."

Well, yes, and fairly chaste pop lyrics do still exist. In "Fifteen," the Nashville teen idol Taylor Swift sings:

'Cause when you're 15 and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're 15 and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round

Nonetheless, try this zeitgeist test: See if you can find anyone under 35 who knows that "playing post office" once was a kissing game for early adolescents. Apparently it now has even less meaning than that once intensely stirring at-the-door moment: the goodnight kiss.
====================================================================================
Sealed with a . . .

Ten things you should know about kissing:

About two-thirds of all humans, male and female, tilt their heads to the right when kissing. It does not matter whether they are left- or right-handed. Men think that kissing is a highly effective way to end a fight. Women think that's hooey. For once, the women are incorrect. "The evidence shows," Gallup says, that "kissing is so powerful for females that even though they deny it, once it occurs, they're so affected by a kiss . . ." That they're helpless in its grip? "Yup."Remember those great standing kisses in old movies, where the girl demonstrates ecstasy by lifting her delicately shod tootsie behind her? That move was called "foot pop." Such as, "What we need here is more foot pop." The science of kissing is known as philematology. In use: "He spent his undergraduate years studying philematology."More men than women describe a good kiss as one that involves tongue contact, saliva exchange and moaning. After a relationship is established, women are much more likely than men to use kissing to monitor the commitment. "There is good evidence that the frequency of kissing is a pretty good barometer of the status of a relationship," Gallup says. Kissing, of course, is not all moonlight and roses. It is implicated in the spread of mononucleosis and oral herpes. The connection to meningitis and gastric ulcers is more distant but exists. The hormonal and neurotransmitter cascade triggered by kissing includes adrenaline (which increases heart rate), endorphins (which produce euphoria), oxytocin (which helps development attachment), serotonin (which affects mood) and dopamine (which helps the brain process emotions). Your heart rate increases, your blood vessels dilate, your body receives more oxygen, and then, well, all sorts of other parts of your body kick in. Your earlobes swell.

When kissing, cortisol levels drop for both sexes, meaning that kissing does in fact reduce stress. During kissing-under-laboratory conditions, oxytocin rises for males but unexpectedly drops for females. Neuroscientist Wendy Hill speculates this means that to bond, females may require a more romantic atmosphere than the experimental setting provided. Hill is scheduled to present a paper at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting titled

"Kissing Chemicals: Hormonal Changes in Responses to Kissing," today, Valentine's Day. Awww.Very few creatures other than humans are great kissers. The marked exceptions are our close relatives the chimpanzees and bonobos. Chimps are huge believers in kissing-and-making-up after conflict. But bonobos need no excuse. In "Our Inner Ape," Emory University primatologist Frans de Waal tells of a zookeeper not used to working with that crowd. Upon accepting a kiss from one of his new friends, "The keeper was understandably taken aback when he felt the bonobo's tongue in his mouth," de Waal writes.

The kiss-off?

There is no doubt that as a recreational activity, kissing has competition. "The kids who are less advanced, not living life in the fast lane, dating later, being high school juniors before their first relationship -- those are the kids who are still rolling around on the couch, kissing," says Rosanne Tobey, a family therapist who is a frequent contributor to MomLogic.com. "The others, who are sneaking out of the house because some boy calls at some random hour of the night, well -- the one who sneaks out at 2 a.m. is not going to roll on somebody's couch. There are no studies, but definitely I see this split."

There are indeed few if any hard data, but that just underscores how far kissing has fallen, says Bill Albert, chief program officer of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

"Kissing isn't categorized in this notion of what's intimate" in, for example, the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System of the Centers for Disease Control, Albert observes. "Nobody thinks kissing is worth noting."

Yet if you suggest to 20- and 30-something women -- most particularly women -- that they may have spent a lesser portion of their lives necking than previous generations, you encounter unexpectedly fierce resistance.

Ways to Deal with Broken Heart Part 4 & Ending

GUIDE TO SECOND CHANCE

Ok, first off I am not expert in second chances, but I wanted to pass along what might possibly work the best. So many people here say give up and forget a second chance. I think pining around for a second chance leaves you no room for success.

So, I wrote this guide with all I have learned over the past several months of research and yes, I am implementing every single one of these points, including realizing that I may never get her back. Either way, I figure if I follow this guideline, I'll be better off in the long run, so that is what I am doing.

Now, keep in mind I didn't come up with all this stuff. Most of it is a compilation of expert opinions, personal experience and the experience of others who have made second chances happen and work.

You'll either get your ex back or you will find someone even better for you. Bottom line, this guideline to help you heal and become stronger as fast as you possibly can and above all,

LEARNS.

1. LET GO: Yes, I said LET GO. No matter how much you love and care for your ex, as long as you stay attached to them and are hoping/praying for a second chance, you will not follow the rest of the guideline and heal completely unless you first truly let go. The reason for this is allow your heart to heal, to focus on self-reflection and improvement and to get your mind and body in a state of happiness. No second chance will work if you are still pining and miserable over losing your ex.

2. NO CONTACT: That means exactly what it says. For the first month or two, you must never contact your ex under any circumstances. If you do, you will have to start the process over again. That means no emails/text/drunk dialling, etc. Now, that doesn't mean if they contact you that you should never reply (chose wisely) but if you do, make sure to keep any replies short, sweet and to the point. Take your time before replying, even several days. It's good to sleep on an email before replying so you have a clear head and are not replying with a ton of emotion. Never discuss the relationship during your healing phase and above all, DO NOT STALK YOUR EX. Do not try and find information about them. Whatever is going on in their life, you can't handle the information right now. Stay away from their web pages, blogs, etc. Don't talk to mutual friends (trust me, they will share any negative comments) Ignorance is bliss. Don't focus on who they are with and what they are doing. It will only torture you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and while they may be living it up with the new person in their life, chances are it's a rebound for them as well. It may take up to six months to a year for their new person's bad side to show through. In the meantime if you screw it up by clinging to them, bad mouthing them or otherwise stalking them, you will only serve to push them away even further. Remember that any conversations with your ex should be pleasurable ones. That is what they will remember. If you are constantly arguing with them or otherwise trying to cling to them and force them back to you, you will make it a painful experience and that is what they will associate with you. Happy/Fun/Pleasurable is good. Arguing/Clinging/Whining/Crying is very, very bad.

3. DO NOT BE FRIENDS: It is impossible to be friends with someone you are deeply in love with. It just won't work. All it will do is show your ex that you will accept second class treatment (in which any respect you had at that point from them will be lost). In addition it will delay your healing process. The longer you cling to hope, the longer it will take for you to truly let go and complete the healing process. I realize to some degree this is counter to your goal, winning them back, but is essential. Your ex doesn't want you all broken and shattered. Have you ever met someone on the rebound and dated them? If so, it probably didn't last long as you saw yourself feeling sorry for them. Their lack of confidence and self-respect is not attractive. Respect precedes love and you cannot respect someone who doesn't respect themselves first. Also keep in mind you cannot expect someone to love someone who doesn't love themselves. And you cannot make someone happy if you cannot make yourself happy. Remember, all the good/healthy feelings you want your ex to feel about you will only come if you feel them about yourself first - and believe it.

4. FOCUS ON YOU: Allow for the normal grieving process, of course. How long it takes it completely dependent on you. The period of NO CONTACT will go a long way toward helping you focus on yourself and you’re healing. It doesn't matter what your ex is doing right now or who they are seeing. You need to let go of things you have no control over and unfortunately in your case, you are no longer dating so all you have left is you.

5. RE-ACQUAINT YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS: Pick up your phone book or email list and start making contact with friends you haven't hung out with lately. Get out of the house and go hang out with them. Right now you're feeling down and out and a little quality time with your friends will go a long way towards healing your spirit. Do talk about the relationship with them if you wish, but don't dwell on it. If they are friends with your ex, realize anything you say (good or bad) will get back to them. Focus more on what they did to get over and ex and listen to any positive advice they give you. Primarily though you want to invest the time with friends to get your mind OFF your ex and more on fun and bonding. Make new friends as well.

6. GET TO THE GYM: It's a proven fact that no drug works better at getting someone out of depression faster than endorphins. I do not believe the old adage "The best way to get over someone is to get UNDER someone else." If your head is not in the right place, some meaningless sex will only make you miss the ex even more. While you have the feeling of being lonely, sex isn't the answer. At least not right now. Companionship is what you are missing and in the interim, talk to you friends and work out.

7. DIVE INTO HOBBIES: Now that you have some free time on your hands, rather than sitting around at home feeling sorry for yourself, engage your mind. Do something you've always wanted to do as a hobby. Fly model airplanes, take up hiking or mountain climbing, start biking, take a college course in computers, play video games. Your mind can usually only focus on one thing at one time and keeping your mind engaged on hobbies will take it off your ex.

8. PUT THE DRINK/DRUGS DOWN: Yes, it's ok to occasionally go out with friends and have a drink, but don't over-do it. Drinking heavily leads to depression which will not only delay your healing process, but quite possibly throw you into an un-recoverable downward spiral. Not only that but it will put you out of shape and you will lose any gains from working out.

9. REBUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM: It's normal to be dumped and have your self-esteem and confidence taken a hit. Those who recover the fastest are those who have the strongest self of self-worth. Many relationships end in failure and not all of us were meant to be together. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you focus on your needs and rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, the sooner you will recover - and be stronger.

10. UNDERSTAND WHAT WENT WRONG: Instead of focusing on what your Ex did to cause the demise of the relationship, focus on learning a lesson and improving where you can. If you became clingy, then rebuild your confidence. Understand that you don't NEED someone in your life. You can and will live fine without them. You must never NEED someone, only want them. I cannot emphasize personal improvement enough. Almost every aspect of our life in regards to success can be directly attributed to our confidence and self-esteem. At healthy levels, we will find much success in everything we do. When the levels are below healthy, we often find failure. Not because of the situation, but because of how we viewed ourselves. If you are a clingy guy, some essential reading: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and any of "David DeAngelo's" stuff. Pay less attention to the pickup lines and focus on his insistence on confidence and self-esteem. He's dead right on everything he says in regards to confidence. Remember boys: No woman respects a man who constantly kisses her ass. You must have mutual respect for each other and that cannot be had with ass-kissing.

11. LEARN BOUNDARIES: Boundaries are essential for anyone with healthy confidence, self respect and self-esteem. Learn to make boundaries clear from the start of a relationship and have repercussions for crossing them. When you set a boundary, it is imperative for you to follow through on your actions. If you make it clear to someone you are dating that if they say they are going to meet you somewhere at a certain time and don't, make it clear it better not happen again. People whom you allow to cross your boundaries with no repercussions will lose respect for you and continue to cross them. Remember again, RESPECT PRECEDES LOVE. Without respect, there cannot be love. Read "Love Must Be Tough" for more information on boundaries and why they are essential. Boundaries are not just for relationships. They are essential at home, at work and throughout your life.

12. NEVER TELL YOURSELF NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU: That's a self-defeatist attitude that not only will keep you down, but is just outright WRONG. There is someone out there that will love you in the way you want. You just have to find them. And you certainly won't find them if you are wallowing in self-doubt and pity. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps! You have plenty to live for and while no one likes to go through a bad breakup, it's almost an essential part of life. How else are you going to learn the lessons of love without going through the hard knocks? Trust me, as long as you learn something from the relationship and self-improvement you are almost guaranteed greater success the next time. You will have learned valuable lessons to guide your future relationships. And, if you have rebuilt your confidence and self-esteem you will naturally attract those with the same qualities. Remember (especially guys) that attraction while initially might be based on looks will never last without you have strong confidence and self-esteem. However, you can attract and keep a great woman in your life without having great looks, as long as you do have strong confidence and self-esteem.

13. ACCEPT THAT SOME THINGS JUST AREN'T MEANT TO BE: Keep in mind that you may follow this guideline to a "T" and in the end and still they may never come back. Some people are just not meant to be together. But don't get discouraged. Use this experience to guide all future relationships. How much do you love your ex? Do you love them enough to want them to be happy even if it's not with you? To me, that is the true test of love. Not only do you love them unconditionally, warts and all, but that you want them to be happy with or without you. There is someone out there for you, but until your confidence and self-esteem is at healthy levels, until your life is full of happiness and fun, until you realize that you have to be happy before you can make anyone else happy, you won't find them. People with all those positive attributes don't have to look for a mate, they usually find them.

CONCLUSION

How you choose to handle your breakup is a personal decision, of course. As long as you choose to accept the reality and face your pain, then there is no “right or wrong way”. But in the end, do yourself the favour if you haven’t done so already and just face the fact that you will be in pain and that you will most likely never be with this person again head on, because that’s when the true healing beings to take place.
“If you love someone so much, let it go free, if it comes back to you then it’s meant to be yours, but if it doesn’t then it wasn’t yours to begin with. Do not hold on. Let it go because true love is not measured by holding on but by letting go...”

“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough”.

APPRECIATION
All gratitude and appreciation goes to my ex who have made it possible to compile all this work and let me share it with others. Without her I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have taken a step towards reassessing my relationship. Best of luck to her in finding her true love and best of luck to you guys out there...

Well thats all the ending *fuuuHH* heheh..

Ways to Deal with Broken Heart Part 3

DEFINITION OF “NO CONTACT” (NC)

Q. What is no contact?
A. No contact is just that. It's breaking all ties to your ex.

Q. What is no contact for?
A. No contact is meant as the quickest means for you to heal.

Q. If I implement NC will I get my ex back?
A. Probably not, but that's not what NC is meant for. Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but if you're banking on NC as a way to manipulate your ex back into your life you are in for a rude awakening.

Q. What should I be doing to implement NC?
A. Absolutely cutting all ties to your ex. That means no calls, emails, text/sms, IM's - nothing. You need to vanish completely from their life and in the process, make them disappear from yours. In addition, get rid of their phone number, emails and email address, remove all the pictures/photos/memories/gifts. Anything that reminds you of the ex should be boxed up and put in a safe place out of daily view and easy reach.

Q. What should I be doing during NC?
A. First off, allow the grieving process to happen naturally. You need to grieve a loss, but don't dwell on it. Hang out with your friends, immerse yourself in a new hobby and start working out. Working out is especially useful because not only does it release endorphins which help make you feel better but you'll start looking your best which will help you attract someone new. If you need Counselling, by all means go.

Q. I don't want to implement NC because I don't want to lose him/her.
A. Unfortunately you already have. Clinging on to them or the hope you'll get them back will only keep you down longer. Additionally, the natural reaction of any ex when you cling on to them is for them to literally spring in the other direction. If you do have any chance of understanding, your best bet is to leave them alone and forget about them.

Q. My ex wants to be friends, is this a good idea?
A. No, not if you are still in love with them. For the most part Ex's will keep you as a friend so they have a 'back up plan' in case things fail with the new love of their life. Ask yourself if you're happy being number 2 in someone's life. If so, more power to you. But if you respect yourself and have healthy self-esteem you'll never settle for being left hanging on a string. All it will do is keep you clinging to the false hope of getting back with your ex, keep you down in the dumps much longer than you should be and ruin any chance you have of meeting someone new. So hey, if you want to be miserable, go ahead and be good buddies with your ex.

Q. I can't resist the urge to contact my ex! What should I do??
A. If you've deleted all their contact info yet still remember how to reach them, call a friend instead. Go work out. Take a bike ride. Go for a jog. Do something to occupy your mind. Get out; don't sit around the house pining for your Ex. Rest assured they are not sitting around with their new love wondering why you aren't calling them.

Q. How long should I wait to contact my ex?
A. Never be the first to contact your ex. If you need something back, ask a friend to go get it for you. If you have kids together, NC is almost impossible. The best thing to do is keep whatever contact you must have to a minimum. Don't argue with them, don't ask for a second chance, and don’t beg them to take you back. Just be very polite and business-like. You thank yourself later for being the bigger person. Additionally the best way to make someone see they're being an asshole is to not be one in retaliation. Let them vent and just be quiet. Sooner, rather than later, it'll hit them that they're being absolutely childish and you'll come out smelling like a rose.

Q. I've been on NC for some time and my Ex just contacted me, what should I do?
A. The question is why are they contacting you? If it's just to get something back, box up their stuff and have a friend give it to them. No need to reply. No matter what, don't contact them back right away. Don't answer if they call. Show them you have a life and you don't need them in it. Yes, it's kind of a game but a necessary evil. I know a lot of people might disagree with me on this, but I'm a sceptic. I want to know why the ex is contacting me. If they are having doubts, they will make it clear. If you respond to them, be sure to take a day or two to do so. This will give you time to think clearly about what you want to say. When you reply, make sure that it's polite and to the point. Don't make any small talk. Don't bring up the past (big no no). Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Be the first to end the conversation. Do be happy, do smile inside and know that you'll be fine. Trust me, if your ex wants you back nothing will stop them from getting in touch with you. And this is ideally what you want. You want them to initiate the contact because it will be their heart that has changed.

Q. What happens if I break NC?
A. You'll end up right back to square one and have to start the healing process all over again. Don't believe me? Then asked people who have implemented no contact and broke them. Trust me, while you are on NC with them and they are with someone else, you don't want to know how they are doing. You don't want to hear how happy they are. As "love expertise (such as Hartmann)" says, you can't handle what they have to say right now. Not yet. Wait until you are finally healed. Personal Note: I have broken contact with my ex today n I felt like I am back to square one. What hurts the most is that knowing she never care about me and that the only thing she replied was she has change her phone number and will not be using the current number anymore..I feel like everything inside of me is being torn apart. I feel like I have just been out from hell and suddenly its sucking me right back in.

Q. What if I see them in public?
A. Avoid contact with them at all cost. If you can't, just be polite and smile and wave if they wave at you. If they want to talk, remember the rule. No small talk, no information. You're doing great without them. You yourself are responsible for your happiness. Not them!!!!

Q. What if my Ex never contacts me?
A. Then it was never meant to be. Consider yourself lucky and smart enough to realize the sooner you implemented NC and got on with your life the sooner you can meet the right person for you. That's really what this whole no contact deal is all about.
Realize that none of us are immune to heartbreak. Consider each relationship as a lesson life teaches us that we carry on to the next relationship. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. That's what NC does. It allows you to reflect on your past mistakes and grow as a person. Each time you fail in a relationship you gain invaluable knowledge that will aid you in the next.

Men say women are like buses, there is always another one coming around the corner. It's the same for women too. There will be someone else, I guarantee you that. The sooner you cut ties with the ex, healed yourself up, improved where you can and have imbedded the lessons of your past the better off you'll be for someone else.

Above all, never tell yourself that "I'm not good enough; no one loves me, blah blah blah." That's a self-defeatist attitude and kills your confidence and self-esteem. You are plenty good enough and someone will love you. You just have to be happy with who you are. Be the best you can be.
Every step forward you make is one step closer to meeting the person of your dreams. It will likely happen as soon as you have decided you respect yourself enough to take back your personal power. The power you give to you’re ex every moment you spend thinking about them, wishing they would call or clinging on to them. Take back control of your life by vowing to move on. Accept what has happened, to let go completely and to be free to love again.

Thats for the Part 3