Yesterday night

K

Spend a night with my ex, cause feeling a bit frighten of the room i reserve to stay the night of an event i have to attend.

The rooms have 2 beds. i didnt want sleep next to him cause of the fracture elbow arm i had in a process of healing. However he sleeps next to me. It was a nice night.😊 He hugged me till morning. However, i'm in a Dilemma, he was awake for awhile, he hug n kissed my cheek and say "I Love u" twice and went back to sleep.😳 i was consciously awake when i heard the words he said. 😓

I dont know whether he was talking in his sleep or whatever it is.😕I am so feeling the same way towards him 😢I know i still want him. I did Love him when we hooked up, but i left him because he was not committed and ready. Currently we are just re-dating. 😓 I dont want to have that feelings because i had been hurt that he wasnt ready last time. But on that night, hearing him say that, all i'm feeling is i so really want him badly. 😫 

I literally woke him up for the intimacy 💏making out, and he said he is tired but did say he'll promise make it up to me after the event i attended is done. Unfortunately, after the event, i went out for dinner with my friends, told him to meet up after that. He decide to see me next time. I feel angry, he promise to make it up. 😠😡😤

So frustuated right now!! 😖 I know some things wont change, but i wish that for a moment he'll priorties me first, sadly i'm just an option.

I dont know.......dont know what more i can say...😭😭💔

Familiar character,behavior

Currently, been watching this drama. I'm fond of the actor. First time saw him act in one series Vanilla Coklat. Aiman Hakim Ridza

Has always like a guy name Ridza thou 😆😁😘Anyway....in this drama series, the character he act, totally reminds me of the guy i dated, who happen to be my ex-boyfriend too. 2 years together, i chose to walk away, due to reason known to myself only. He contacted me back after almost a year i left him. Had a bad argument again, however we get back together but just dating for now. Apparently, hes the only ex, theres a song lyrics to this 🎶i keep getting back to that one thing i could walk away from🎶🎶😕 *sigh*

This character the actor act had a resemblence, even the looks my ex have, theyalmost look alike😬. A bit carried away, everytime i watch the episode 😤 At times i'm so mad to myself, why i still getting back to my ex. The things i want in a guy, he has it, One thing He Doesnt Smokes!!🚭 He may not be a Perfect Nice guy neither a Bad Guy.....its...i don't know whatelse to say about him. Another thing, His Ego boost makes me Nuts!! 😤

Oh dearie, how  & what am i going to do with myself...😵 

All i wish is this One particular person, to me he can swept my feet off within seconds 💯% 😍Angel guy. Dreamy??? No....he is real. Crazy me?? No....he is real. A person real. He address himself as the Angel. Reminds me of the movie Meet Joe Black. I love that movie. Extra ordinary, Angel of Death fell in Love with a human. He learn to love, about love, i guess thats how i felt towards him. I dont know him, no thing about him, just his Tantrums is all i know ☺️

But i heard no news from him & the last post i saw in his FB. i wish to tell him how i feel but i guess i'm too dreamy about it. 😓 Will there be a chance for us? I don't know. *feeling bitter* Frustuated thinking of it. 

An Ex i dated which i keep on getting back & i could walk away from repetatively & An Admire which i keep on dreaming we could be together & i keep on dreaming away.

Dear almighty, help me to pull this through. 🙏😕

Fracture left arm 28 Feb 2014

This happened last year in June 2013. I accidently caught my finger between the end side of a door. The door is something like the old thing cowboy flip door. I didnt notice was holding the side as it was dark in the club.

Had a hard time to drive. I can't grip my finger for a month but fully recover quickly in a month.😁

And now this year 28 Feb 2014 at 7.30pm, i accidently slipped n fell on my arm at work. The floor was sandy, which my flat shoes losing grip. It happen really quick!! I couldnt save myself to grab the side of my table. When i fell on my arm, i blackout few seconds, i get up but lay down cause my arm, too painful but still i forced myself to sit. I manage to sit up n take a deeppppp breathe. I stood n walk to the photocopier machine, i blackout again. My body was trembling in shock but i keep on telling myself, its just a minor sprain because i can move my hand. However the weird thing, when i want move it sideways, it was reallyyyy really painful, i stretch outwards only can do halfway, i flex trying to reach my shoulder, i couldnt do it n felt something hard. Still in denial, i think its sprain.😐

Went out with my friends for dinner, i keep on doing the same thing. I couldnt fully stretch n flex reaching my shoulder, couldnt move sideways. When to the emergency midnight, they gave a painkiller n send me to xray only the next morning.😖😵

Midnight emergency

Morning, Went do xray, the guy who do the xray saw the image, he was gasping n said 😯Oh gosh! Its fracture...." I was saying to him "

You serious....???!"😯

 With the worried n concern expression, He said "Thats why you can't move it sideways, stretch n flex" Completely speechless, hearing it... Xray for the second time, its confirm a fracture. He was nice n sweet asking i want see the xray image.

 So i go the other room n see it. He explain where the fracture is. I stood speechlessly, he asked "You ok?" I respond "No...."😐

Went to the Orthopedic, Doctor confirm that my arm, radial head fracture n undisplace as well. They cemented cased my arm healing for 3 weeks. First time in my life 😧

Arm casing is literally annoying especially the itchy part, i can't scratch!😤😤😤😤

Anyway, see in 3weeks time, imma have a hard time carrying heavy stuff from now on.

Speedy recovery🙏

My Holiday with Parents and Sisters

This is our very first time crossing the sea vacation. Let the picture do all the talking.

30 Dec 2013

Boarding at Miri Airport morning flight. 

Finally arrive at 2.30pm at Malaysia Hotel, Bukit Bintang

Next morning, going breakfast before going to KLCC Aquaria. Walking down to Pavilion.

First time in KL the sisters.

The KL bridge to KLCC aquaria

The Aquaria 

I missed Subway!!!

Prevail

I couldn't sleep well few nights back. Had alot of thinking especially seeing back my ex date@so called boyfriend. Dated him for 2 years, broke up with him early this year. It took me 3 months finally to remove all the pictures, memories i had with him include his contact number. 

However, He contacted me back this year November. Had a conversation till an argument arise. I ignore him completely after the worst argument ever, but he still had the guts to contact me. Curiosity, questions, assumptions, what is it going to be after this? There was slight changes in him, usually i'll be the one whos talking about things however now hes doing it. I got a feeling he do misses me being around. But that one thing, prevail till a second ago tonight. 

I pray to you Almighty, Keep me safe, Give me strenght to go through this hurtful journey.

Lastly, I want to have a Peaceful Heart, Body n Mind.

K.L 12-15 Oct 2013

KL short vacation 12-15 Oct 2013

Back again for the 2nd time. Didnt do much, just went to a night life entertainment. 

With my bro & best buddies 😘💃👯🎊

Boarding 

Celebrating my bro 32nd birthday. Pavilion dome, K.L🎉🎂

Night life vain-ing. Will post some more

Next day shopping spree 

Questions

It has been awhile, 10 months has passed to be precise, you came back. Lot of questions running through my mind and one thing keeps on bugging, "Whats your intention of coming back?" 

I have my intention, and i wanted to get it with sincerity as how the first time i knew you. 

Few conversation have been spoken till one day, your intention prevail 

Things doesn't change with him, all the words, critics, assumption, judgement coming from him,

It was very disappointing and hurts really deep than the first.

Like the first, i take my bow for the 2nd time. 

To be honest, i don't know what or who to believe when it comes to Love. 

Putting on my defenses up, for now. 😢